Finding My Roots - A journey of DNA investigation...

My story

This blog entry will be a mix of what I've learned from finding my biological family, and what I knew ahead. I need to stress that the story of what happened before I was adopted, is based on what I've learned the past few days. There may be misunderstandings. I might therefor updating this entry as I learn of these.  

Wednesday December 5 1973 the american soldier, Leonard Wayne Bates, married the korean girl, Chong Suk Puk, he met at his stationing in South Korea, becoming mrs. Bates. His wife was already pregnant and gave birth to a son March 11 1974. They named the son after his father. 

The following year, July 7 1975, mrs. Bates gave birth to yet another son at Seoul Severance Hospital. The boy weight around 5 pound and was born with lip- and cleft palate. They parents loved this boy, despite the handicap, and named him John Bates. This boy was me. 

Due to rotation of the soldiers, Leonard was enforced to go back to US. He was allowed to bring his new family with him. They decided to move to Leonards birth area in USA. More specificly around Albany, New York, in the village of Castleton-on-Hudson in County Rennselaer. But the story and happiness took a turn. Their little boy, John, caught Tuberkulosis and became very ill. As a result to this my visa for USA was rejected and the family was told to leave the child behind. My maternal grandparents were poor people and had just had a afterthought, so they weren't able to take of yet another child. The exact date my mum cannot remember, as she had her world turned upside down. They instead handed me over to an elderly woman who was a friend of the family, to take care of me until they could have me back. On the other hand they was worried if I would survive at all. 

According to a police document from December 30 1975, the case of adoption was set by the Court of Home Affairs in Seoul already December 11 1975. This documents tells the parents were unknown, but gives me the right birthday. By February 17 1976 the adoption case was concluded. I was adopted by a danish couple, living in Denmark, Europe. At April 8 1976 the KLM flight took off from Seoul Airport with destination of Amsterdam with me in my adoptive mothers arms. From Amsterdam the flight went on to Copenhagen, and from here to Karup in middle Jutland.  

I grew up at a farm just about 4,3 miles/7 kilometres outside Karup. I will not go into the upbringing, as this is not what this blog is about. Perhaps I someday will make another entry on this matter.

After coming to USA my parents wrote letters to the woman in whoms arms they handed me over,

but the letters were never replied. After some time my mother went back to Korea in attemt to find me and bring me with her back, if not I had died. She couldn't find me, neither could she find the woman. The police convinced my mother to give in the search, accept I most likely had passed away and go back to the family she had. She went back, but never really gave up hope and gave in the search nor the hope of reuniting. Also the korean part of the family has spent the years searching and wondering. 

Fast forward. 

In April 2018 I signed up for a free DNA test-kit for adoptees who couldn't find the money themselves for such a test. MyHeritage had granted 15.000 free DNA-kits world wide. Only thing to do was writing why I wanted such a test, and why I couldn't find the money - about $100 (ca. 700 dkr). I was lucky to be chosen to receive a DNA test kit, which I recieved early June 2018. About one month later I had the result. 

The result got me in contact with a distant cousin, Mickeal. We just didn't knew how we were related. Mickeal already had a huge family tree at Ancestry. She gave me access to her tree, so I could  look around. She had a suspecion I belonged to her maternal grandfathers line of the family. I began looking. I set up some inquiries: Male, born around 1950 +/-, war veteran. During my search I learned that many Vietnam veterans was sent on leave in Korea, so I expanded the search to include Vietnam veterans, which had not been in my mind until then. I was just not able to make any connections. 

Mickeal recommended me to do an Ancestry DNA test too, as several of her cousins, aunts and

uncles had done Ancestry test. A test result from Ancestry would narrow the search down, she argued. I put the test on my wish list for Christmas 2018, and my adoptive parents gave be so. 

In about February 5 2019 I received the results from Ancestry, reveiling two 1st cousin matches: Shawn and Rhonda. Rhonda had a small family tree on her account, giving the name of her father and the surname of her maternal grandfather. Shawn on the other hand had no information. Mickeal reached out to him, asking about his family names. He wrote back with the names of his parents and paternal grandparents. The grandparents names were familiar from the tree Mickeal had made, which I had copied parts of to better be able to work on the search my own. I tried to put in Shawn and Rhonda in the tree, but I just couldn't find the brother who was to be my father, with the grandparents name Shawn had given. 

Mickeal said to me: You need to find a man with both the bloodlines of Bates and Hallenbeck, as
some of your close matches belongs to the Hallenbeck-family. 

A little stressed about all this, I decided to use a little time going through the names I had listed of the entire family, and delete the marks of men which I now knew for sure wasn't right, as they were on the wrong branch. After deleting the marking of all the wrong men, one man was left: Leonard Wayne Bates, born Februar 23 1951. I decided to look closer at him, so I went to the family tree and learned his mother was named: Helen Hallenbeck Philips. Now I had the to bloodlines in one man at the right branch of the family, but as the Hallenbecks and Bates has intermarried, I couldn't conclude anything yet.

I searched the Ancestry database to learn more. I knew the names of his parents, his birthday and names of some siblings. I added these informations into the search engine at Ancestry. The result was a lot af documents, but on top of all these, a death notification. Thinking a couple of days what to do next, I was looking yet again at the death notification. Suddenly I began focusing on the name of the town he was living when he died. Knowing that many smaller villages has a common Facebooksite or -group for internal communication, I decided to do a search for the village at Facebook. Three results came up: one open site, one closed group and a business site. I clicked at the open site and wrote a message. The administrator of the site wrote me back immediately they would recommend me apply for membership of the closed group, as that was the one the inhabitors followed. So I did, and it was granted right away. 

I posted a message: 

After posting I closed down my computer and went to bed. Next morning I got up, a woman named Denise had written me a chat message, saying it was her uncle and asking why I was looking for the family? 

Adviced from people with long experiense of reuniting adoptees with biological parents, I was not to give informations about me too fast. I asked questions of how she would describe this man and so on. Chatting for some time she notified me he had passed away years ago. I confirmed I knew that, but then I wrote that I had noticed he was listed as a Vietnam veteran. I therefore asked what she knew of this and his whereabouts in the 1970s? She answered he wasn't in Vietnam, but stationed in Korea. I later learned this is not entirely correct; he had a short stay in Vietnam before displaced to Korea. 

Now I had a man with the right bloodlines, on the right branch of the family tree, born around the right time, war veteran and placed in the right country. But this wouldn't make him my biological father. I still needed to place him according to be uncle of Shawn and Rhonda. 

I now told Denise, that I had a suspicion that the two of us might be closer related, than she might know of. Curiosly she replied what I ment by that? I answered that I have a suspicion that her uncle might be my father, but I wasn't sure yet. 

She now wrote me back, that she knew her uncle and aunt have had a child in Korea they left in Korea due to health issues. I told I was born with lip- and cleft palate and was very ill with TB. "That was exactly what I've heard," she replied. 

I was a little confused about her talking about her aunt, but she then told me that her uncle and aunt had another two boys. One of them was at Facebook. She gave me the name, and I made a search. Twentyfive results came up, but only one living in the area of where Leonard had died. She confirmed that was him. I entered his Facebook looking at pictures and I was immediately stunned and almost fell of my chair. For all those years I have had an urge to find someone in whom I could find some similarities, but in this guy I found not just some similarities, I found a true mirror reflection. So much I got confused if it was me, even knowing it couldn't be. 

I was no longer in doubt. This guy was my brother, and his father was my father. That was for sure. 

I told Denise, and she was happy. I asked Denise what she could tell me about this mans personality, and I found we seemend to be more alike, than just the good looking.

Denise now told me, that our mother was still alive and was living close to her. So I was on the search  of my birthfather, finding him dead but instead finds my birthmother living in the US. Denise went and visited my mother later that night local time, telling her what happened. 

I don't think I need to say, neither of us slept much that night. The next day around 5 p.m. (CET)/11 a.m. (EST) I talked with my mother on a video connection for the first time. We talked for about two hours. It was insane, marvellous, fantastic, crazy all in the same time, and we have been talking daily since that day. 

After finding that Leonard was my father, I went to the website Find A Grave, and left a virtual flower and a short message, using the name he and mum had given me. Yes, I made a spelling mistake, but I hope the message is understandable.