Follow up on entry of "Lost son of Castleton"

Follow up on "The Lost Son of Castleton"

I have previously written an entry about how being found laying on the ground in Paju City, Korea. I  leaned I never really finished this entry before it got postet, and therefore I feel a need to go deeper into this story. 

First of all, I cannot know if this story is true, even that is what written in the adoption file. Danish National Television, Danmarks Radio (DR), broadcastet June 6 2018 a documentary: "Import af børn - Adoptionens historie" (Importing of children - The history of Adoption). The TV show specialy  focused on adoptions from South Korea in 1960-1980s. In this periode of time there is a common understanding in Denmark, and among other Western Countries, that these children just needs parents, and in these countries adults wished to adopt a child. This could only be a great match. This common understanding gave foundation for a growing industry in Korea of adopting children of, so they didn't have to use finances on these abandoned children. Within few years a couple of problem s evolved. First the demand on children overcame the number of abandoned children for adoption. The Adoption agancies began to look for poor families with many children, who they convinced to give up some of their youngest children for adoption. The families was promised good pay for their offer. The Danish Authorities now began to require signatures from adults who had given their child for adoption to make sure, they did this voluntarily. Adoption agencies were challenged, as some times the families regretted giving up their child for adoption, or they may have learned they have been tricked as no pay was given. They could not have these parents signature. Adoption agencies instead began fabricating stories of abandonment. 

Based on this, I cannot say for sure, that the information in my adoption file is true. That is just one story. 

A different story from the adoption file says, I was found in a child carriage or basket of some kind  on the doorway of a hospital in Seoul with a note giving my name and birthday. 

Which one is true??? Is any of the stories true, or is the truth a whole different story??? I have no clue.

Stay suspicious 

After talking with my birth mother I somehow begin to believe the story of being found on the doorway of a hospital is the truth. Anyway part of it. 

Why do I believe that? Well, my mother told me about laying in a basket or child carriage of some kind as they also had used for my older brother. Being found 3-5 months old, and nailing the birthday spot on I think there might have been a note of at least my birthday. But if the note gave my name too, why did they change the name giving a Korean name and origin? The answer will only be a wild guess. Times was hard at that time. Hospitals could have been paid to keep silence due to the big demand on children for adoption. I don't know; this is just a wild guess. 

To Korean Adoptees who might read this: Don't believe your adoption story for true. Keep suspicious; it might have been a fabricated story, and you may never find out the whole truth. 

A spark to the debate on adoption

When picture-googleing the word: "Adoption" only happy, smiling pictures shows up. We have created a common story telling adoption is always happiness. But is it? Is it really for sure? We have now come to a time, where international adopted children like myself has grown and now participating in the public debate. Way too often we learn of adoptions going wrong and adoption being annulled.

Most of the children being adopted are only few months old. How do the officials make sure, that the child and the adoptive parents is a good match? Match requires more than a child without parents, and parents without a child. What about personality? Sense of humor? Skills? 

If a child is placed with an adoptive family of opposite personality, sense of humor and skills, will they be able to embrace this or will they try to enforce their own personality, sense of humor and skills to the child? What will happen to the child, if this is what happens?

I made a little unscientific survey amongst korean adoptees in Denmark. The survey is still going on, but so far I can see, that 1/3 of the adoptees has found their adoption has been partly or not at all a success. It surprised me somehow the result was this high, but yet not again. Somehow it just highlighted what I already suspected. 20% also answers they feel the adoption family has found it partly to impossible to accept their personality differentiate from themselves. The same amount has answered they experience their adoption family finds it hard to comprehend with their sense of humor, which differentiates from the humor in the adoption family.
36% - more than a third - has experienced emotions of being looked down to for being different from their adoption family, yet only 12% has considred breaking their relationship to the adoption family. 52% - more than half - have considered tracing biological family if possible. 20% has tried to find their biological family without result or just have not succeeded yet. 24% of the adoptees has succeded finding their biological family, and luckily all of them have had medium to high positive esperiences finding their biological families. But note, this is a very small and unscientific survey.
Personally I find it tragic that 33% find themselves in a malplaced adoption. This ought to leed to a deeper scientific investigation on this matter, and the politicians should really re-think the question on adoption in general.